season of waiting

    Everyone goes through a season of waiting sometime during their life. Whether it's waiting to find the love of your life, waiting to find the right job, waiting to have kids, or waiting for the right moment. Seasons change often, but I feel like you can always find yourself in some season of waiting for something, whatever it might be.

    The Lord has delivered me from many different waiting seasons, and I'm grateful to Him for each one. I waited 9 years for a little sister. I didn't get a sister like I desired, but He gave me the sweetest baby brother that my little heart needed. I waited 8 years to marry my best friend. And after alot of hard work and intense praying, that finally came true 8 months ago. I waited to find my dream career, and while I haven't found out exactly what that is yet, I am content with the job that the Lord gave to me right now. But now I'm in a new season of waiting. It's a few things all wrapped up into one season, but I'm waiting nonetheless.

    I'm waiting to have children. Now, I haven't even been married for an entire year yet, so I'm okay with waiting a little longer on this one. But it has been a big desire of my heart since I was a little girl, so I'm still waiting for that dream to come true. And I'm waiting to see where the Lord takes my husband and myself, geographically. I have lived in the same city for 22 years and while it's been good to me, my heart longs for this city no more. I'm ready to live adventurously and see new places and share Jesus's love with new people in other cities or states. I'm ready to spread my little wings and fly away from Corpus Christi & migrate somewhere new.

    All of these dreams and desires sound wonderful, but it's not in my hands that these dreams come true. It is the Lord's. As much as I wish that I could make the waiting periods shorter and make the dreams come quicker, I can't. The Lord's timing and mine are often quite different, and He brings all things to pass a lot slower than I would like. But that's where the patience comes into the season of waiting. I could so easily get frustrated (and I have a few times, unfortunately) with wanting to leave this town and not being able to right now. But that's when we have to shift our focus away from our desires, and direct them towards God. He knows what is best for our lives and we have to trust that He will take care of it all. And if you keep your focus on the Lord and it is a true desire of your heart, the Bible says that He will give it to you (Psalm 37:4). It also helps to have a really extremely patient and wise husband that knows what's best for your family. I am very blessed to have a husband that is so intensely seeking the Lord in his life for the sake of him and his family, that he doesn't just give me what I want when I want it. If that were the case, we'd probably already have a kid and be in a northern US state with not enough money to keep us going and no community in our area. Ladies, you have to make sure your husband is seeking the Lord wholeheartedly in his life, because he is the leader of your home. You want to make sure that the decisions he makes for your family are for the good of your family, not just for funzies. Sometimes (actually a lot of times) it hurts when they don't agree 100% with what you desire, good or bad, but if they're truly trusting the Lord to direct your lives together, it will be for your good. You just have to trust your husband to be that leader and to trust the Lord in his life.

    Although if you don't have a husband that is seeking the Lord, or you don't have a husband at all, it is important that you seek the Lord for those desires and those directional choices. I mean, you should be going to the Lord with those things anyways, but if you have a husband you have 2 people to trust and rely on for these big decisions. Go to God with your prayers and ambitions and the utmost desires of your heart because He knows them already and delights in when we go to Him. It's so important to talk to our Heavenly Father about these things. It's like going to your parents about exciting ideas or dreams that you want to make happen. Parents love to hear their children talk about their passions, and the Lord is the same. But we have to keep in mind that just because we talk about our dreams and desires, doesn't mean that they will come to pass. At least, not right away or maybe not in the way we think.

    My biggest dream when I was about 4, was to have a little sister. My mom became pregnant and I was so excited because I could possibly get that sister that I wanted. But when she gave birth, the baby came out male, not female. I was devastated for about 5 minutes, but quickly got over it because I still loved my little brother, even though he wasn't a she. I still longed for a little sister though, and after 9 years, my mom became pregnant again. We didn't know the gender until birth, but everyone was set on the baby being a girl because I had always desired that sister. But when my mom gave birth, the baby wasn't a girl. She was a he. I never got that little sister that I wanted, and though it was a little disappointing, it wasn't truly what the Lord had for our lives. I wasn't meant to have a sister, just 3 brothers. And I'm okay with that - I would be a different person without my little brother. So it doesn't always turn out the way we want, but how the Lord deems it so and we must trust the Lord that He has a plan (because He does) and it is for the good of those who love Him (which is us) (Romans 8:28). But I still had to wait 9 years for my baby brother. We must all go through a season of waiting, because that's how we learn to fully trust the Lord with our lives. If we always got what we wanted when we wanted it, we wouldn't ever rely on God for what we want most. And the Lord wants us to want Him.

    So we must wait. Waiting sucks, trust me. I am a lot less patient that I would like to admit. But building patience and self control are what builds our faith and builds us as individuals. Maybe it builds your strength & boldness in your own character, or maybe it builds your trust in the Lord. Or maybe it just builds your patience cuz everyone could use a little more patience in their life (myself included). Be patient. Trust the Lord. Trust your husband. If you delight in the Lord and it is a true desire, than the Lord will let it happen. It may not happen how you want or when, but trust that the Lord will let it happen. And when we trust the Lord to let things happen in his timing and not ours, when that season of waiting is over, it is far more precious and far more amazing than we could even imagine if we had done everything ourselves. Trust, and wait. The Lord has you taken care of.