what the LORD showed me for 2023

 The Lord gave me a vision/passion for the new year.

A rejuvenated passion for creativity in all forms. Not just the creative outlets I currently love and thrive in, but a small push towards outlets that I'm not "good at".

     I've always loved coloring. Doodle art. I love it, but I don't thrive in it. I'm okay with that! It's a talent for many amazing people (my husband and sibling-in-laws included), but not me. I've accepted that. But the Lod has shown me that I don't have to be really good at something to do it. I can draw horribly but still enjoy myself. He gave me the creativity to draw with my hands. I may not be able to draw a dog, but I can still have a good time. I shouldn't shy away from something just because I don't think I'm good at it. He thinks I am and that's enough. But who cares if I'm good at something or not? If I can have a good time being horrible at something, then why not just live in that moment ya know? You don't have to be good at something in order to enjoy something. You can just enjoy something because it's a cool thing.

     In 2022, the Lord really worked on me through finding my voice and myself and freedom in being ME. He's been teaching me this since 2020when I got married and moved out of my parents' home. But 2022 really sparked the release of that- I saw the product of everything He had been showing and teaching me. Things like:
-I's okay to say no to things.
-It's okay to not love the trends or whatever is in season.
-It's okay to speak up for what I want, even if it's not what everyone else wants.
-It's okay to have an opposing opinion and to speak up about it.
-While marriage can often be looked at as an "end to a living an independent and fun life", that is the furthest from the truth. God has shown and let me experience more freedom in marriage than in my singleness. God took my anxieties about being married and showed me that marriage (and a fruitful, God-honoring one) is beautiful and perfect.

     All of these things are what I fully learned and understood and harnessed in 2022. But I want to grow more in all of these things in 2023. Just because the year is over doesn't mean I can't still grow in those areas, right? I can say no to things but also express myself and all of this is okay.

     I've really loved expressing myself through clothing and hair and makeup. I've barely really understood how makeup routines really work and I learned a lot this year, so it's been fun to experiment with eyeshadow and sparkle highlighter and finding good mascara. But experimenting makeup means buying product. Experimenting with outfits also means buying new pieces of clothing often to experiment with. But the Lord has revealed in me that I have a love for shopping. Not just clothes and makeup, but mostly that. And He's challenged me to chill out on that. Which is kinda hard for me because I've finally reached the point in my life when I can spend money on things I want for my body and my home. Before November 2021, I didn't have a home that was mine. I finally had that and wanted to decorate how I want! I'm finally discovering the freedom in dressing what I want and not what's popular or what people think I should wear. But it might've gotten a tad out of hand? Okay, it definitely has.

     So, while I am seeing the freedom in dressing creatively and freely, I also want to value simplicity. Quality over quantity, you know? It's important to me to not own stuff just to have it. Shopping became a hobby and I told myself that was okay, but it has become more than that for me at times. I've used it as a form of comfort. So, I'm cutting back on the shopping and indulging on new things and spending money impulsively. Like I said, quality over quantity. I'm getting rid of things in my closet that I realistically don't wear or use anymore. If I am going to buy something new, it's because it's a necessary purchase. I'm only going to buy higher quality clothing pieces that will last a long time. Pieces that aren't super trendy because I want them to last and look good in 8-10+ years. It's not that I'm building a capsule wardrobe, but I am building a classic and timeless one. Because I see the importance here to buy to sustain and not pamper.

     I've noticed that the Lord has slowly revealed to me ways to improve myself by adding or subtracting things to my life.
For example - I've been wanting to have a consistent workout schedule or routine. I've tried many times to start it up, but I always get sidetracked with life and the idea has always been put on the backburner. But just last week, I saw this TikTok video of a woman's workout routine, and someone asked her why she does it, implying that it's for vanity's sake. But she said "the squats are so I can give my kids piggyback rides." and "the lunges and stretches are so I can get down on the floor and play pretend". Her workouts weren't for vanity's sake, but it was so she can be a better caretaker for her children. That really spoke to me. I don't want a workout routine to get abs. I want to be healthy. I don't wanna be winded after a 10-minute walk. I want to be my best, healthiest self for when I have kids and they wanna run around at a park with mom. I have to stay strong and healthy for them.

     I want to minimize my wardrobe and makeup routine so I can fully love my facial features and body how God created them. So that when I have a child, he or she grows up loving her body and hair how the Lord created her. I want to set a good example for my kids one day- that they are beautiful how they were created. Wanting to fix things about me or cover up things about me will teach my kids the same thing. I want them to love themselves how I + their dad + their Heavenly Father loves them. But it starts with me loving myself now.

     The Lord is teaching me so much about me. It's funny, you would think that after living with myself for 24 years, that I would know myself pretty well. But I guess that's the thing- we're not always the same person. We change, we evolve. We grow. And I'm learning all of that. The Lord is revealing it all to me because He loves me. What is the Lord showing you this year?