Learning from the Past.
Life comes with bumps in the road. Life isn't always easy. In fact, it's rarely easy. It causes pain and stress and worry. But sometimes, that's what makes it so beautiful. And before I lose you there, because quite frankly, that's very confusing and hard to follow, give me a chance to explain myself. I can tell you it's all beautiful and worth it because of one person and one word: Jesus.
2016 has been a crazy year. It's the year I graduated from high school (YAY!) but before that, I had to go through a lot. My first semester of senior year (back in fall of 2015), I was given the class "pre-calculus + trigonometry". So, I'm not a math person. My brain just doesn't function that way. Which is fine, I've accepted that fact. Though being put in the most challenging class there is for my senior year, that was not a happy moment of realization for me. Trudging through this difficult class and trying not to fail was definitely a challenge and a struggle for me.
On my 18th birthday in March, I was given the wonderful present (*hint major sarcasm*) of being in my first car accident from behind the wheel (with only having my license for six days, ramming my little 2-door car into a CITY BUS, and having my 2-year old baby brother in the backseat!).
That was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. Thankfully I didn't have much of an issue driving afterwards, but I did struggle with the mental side of things. For the longest time I would have mental visions of the accident happening again, and not being able to do anything about it.. I would be scared of sleeping because I didn't want nightmares of the collision. I didn't want to see a city bus on the road when I was driving because I was afraid of having another accident. Definitely not what I planned of getting out of my 18th birthday haha. ;)
Not even a month after my first car accident, I got into another one and totaled my car (Bye Petunia). That day was depressing. My second car accident was even harder to deal with than the first. The airbag deployed and I was a bit bruised up (I also got some airbag gas in my lungs), and the whole front hood and grill of my car was damaged and made it no longer drivable.
I already have issues with beating myself up for things I've done, and this wasn't any different. Getting into one car accident is bad enough, but getting into two and within a month of each other is something else. I was so mad at myself for letting this happen again, and I gave myself a break from driving for a while (almost 2 months). It's June now, and I'm finally getting back into the groove of driving again (with my parents in the front seat with me, of course).
I could ramble on and on about how tough my life this year has been because let's be honest, it's been quite a doozy. I could mope around the house feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I no longer have a car (I won't lie, I still get sad about this), but that wouldn't really do much good. I would be living in the past. So I was given a difficult subject in school. I was in two car accidents. Things happen. Life happens. There's nothing I can do about it now. The best thing that I can do now, is give thanks in all circumstances and learn from the past. Being thankful in the hard times is not easy. Trust me, it's not. In the midst of these rough times in my life, I was not thankful. I had a hard time seeing the good in the bad. I was too busy being upset about it to even realize how God was at work. Like how I had amazing mentors and tutors that helped me to study on my pre-calculus and trigonometry and because of that, I got an 80 in my math class. Plus now I can be thankful that I no longer have to take the course anymore (Hallelujah!). OR how I can be thankful that in both car accidents, I (nor my brothers who were in the car with me) wasn't severely injured in any way. I can be thankful that I wasn't given a citation or ticket after my second car accident. "Give thanks in all circumstances," {1 Thessalonians 5:18}
But I could not have done this alone. I couldn't be thankful in the midst of this pain and struggle all on my own. I'm human, and I don't have the will power or the mental strength to say, "oh hey. I just got into my first car accident, with my baby brother in the backseat. It might've just ruined my 18th birthday and it could cause self-trust issues in the future. But it's no big deal. Oh and that $300-something citation that I received because I'm now a legal adult? Don't sweat it."
If I had the mental strength to think that way or respond that way when these tough things happened to me, my life sure would've been a lot easier. But I didn't, because I'm a human being and I have flaws. But there is One that is absolutely perfect, and He is a comforter and healer and my strength when I don't have any. (That person is God, by the way.) Deuteronomy 31:6 says "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Now I don't know about you, but that is extremely comforting to know that in the midst of the trials this life may bring, you don't have to be afraid because the Lord will never leave you.
Just because I say all these things, doesn't mean that I have it all together now. I'm still working through the trusting in God part and the not beating myself up part and the not getting upset when things don't work out part and the give thanks in all things part. Okay, so I have a lot to work on. But I'm not perfect and that's okay. But I'm working towards being more like Jesus. And when it come down to it, that's all that really matters.
"...the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." {Joshua 1:9}
xoxo, Becca
2016 has been a crazy year. It's the year I graduated from high school (YAY!) but before that, I had to go through a lot. My first semester of senior year (back in fall of 2015), I was given the class "pre-calculus + trigonometry". So, I'm not a math person. My brain just doesn't function that way. Which is fine, I've accepted that fact. Though being put in the most challenging class there is for my senior year, that was not a happy moment of realization for me. Trudging through this difficult class and trying not to fail was definitely a challenge and a struggle for me.
On my 18th birthday in March, I was given the wonderful present (*hint major sarcasm*) of being in my first car accident from behind the wheel (with only having my license for six days, ramming my little 2-door car into a CITY BUS, and having my 2-year old baby brother in the backseat!).
 |
| (My little car after car accident number one) |
Not even a month after my first car accident, I got into another one and totaled my car (Bye Petunia). That day was depressing. My second car accident was even harder to deal with than the first. The airbag deployed and I was a bit bruised up (I also got some airbag gas in my lungs), and the whole front hood and grill of my car was damaged and made it no longer drivable.
 |
| (My little car after accident number two) |
I could ramble on and on about how tough my life this year has been because let's be honest, it's been quite a doozy. I could mope around the house feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I no longer have a car (I won't lie, I still get sad about this), but that wouldn't really do much good. I would be living in the past. So I was given a difficult subject in school. I was in two car accidents. Things happen. Life happens. There's nothing I can do about it now. The best thing that I can do now, is give thanks in all circumstances and learn from the past. Being thankful in the hard times is not easy. Trust me, it's not. In the midst of these rough times in my life, I was not thankful. I had a hard time seeing the good in the bad. I was too busy being upset about it to even realize how God was at work. Like how I had amazing mentors and tutors that helped me to study on my pre-calculus and trigonometry and because of that, I got an 80 in my math class. Plus now I can be thankful that I no longer have to take the course anymore (Hallelujah!). OR how I can be thankful that in both car accidents, I (nor my brothers who were in the car with me) wasn't severely injured in any way. I can be thankful that I wasn't given a citation or ticket after my second car accident. "Give thanks in all circumstances," {1 Thessalonians 5:18}
But I could not have done this alone. I couldn't be thankful in the midst of this pain and struggle all on my own. I'm human, and I don't have the will power or the mental strength to say, "oh hey. I just got into my first car accident, with my baby brother in the backseat. It might've just ruined my 18th birthday and it could cause self-trust issues in the future. But it's no big deal. Oh and that $300-something citation that I received because I'm now a legal adult? Don't sweat it."
If I had the mental strength to think that way or respond that way when these tough things happened to me, my life sure would've been a lot easier. But I didn't, because I'm a human being and I have flaws. But there is One that is absolutely perfect, and He is a comforter and healer and my strength when I don't have any. (That person is God, by the way.) Deuteronomy 31:6 says "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Now I don't know about you, but that is extremely comforting to know that in the midst of the trials this life may bring, you don't have to be afraid because the Lord will never leave you.
Just because I say all these things, doesn't mean that I have it all together now. I'm still working through the trusting in God part and the not beating myself up part and the not getting upset when things don't work out part and the give thanks in all things part. Okay, so I have a lot to work on. But I'm not perfect and that's okay. But I'm working towards being more like Jesus. And when it come down to it, that's all that really matters.
"...the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." {Joshua 1:9}
xoxo, Becca
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