my prayer as a wife

     Elijah's first job started only a few months after we became friends. This was back in 2014- we were just barely starting high school. He started as a bus boy at a restaurant making a little more than $8 an hour. He started at the lowest position and stayed there for a hot minute. He wasn't complaining though. It was perfect for his introverted high school self to stay introverted and keep his head low. His mindset always came from Luke 16- "He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much". He did all of his low-pay, gross, deep-cleaning, sweeping work unto the Lord and did it to the best of his abilities. And he was approached a few times by his managers to see if he wanted to move up in the field and learn other positions of different jobs in the restaurant, but he felt like he should stay as a bus boy and continue to do his work to the best of his abilities and unto the Lord. He got a few small pays raises over the years, but he continued to do his "lowly" job just like he did when he was 16.

     All throughout high school and beyond, before we started dating and got engaged, I didn't care what his job was. I didn't care about his position. I didn't care that he had been working at the same restaurant since he was 16. I didn't care about the pay. I was focused on the man he was. What was his character like? What was his attitude towards his job? Those are things that I prayed for. That he would continue to do his work unto the Lord. I prayed for his relationships with his co-workers and his bosses, because it shows a lot about a person- how they treat those work relationships. I prayed for his heart in all aspects: at work, at home, with me, with his friends, with his parents. I prayed for his relationship with the Lord to blossom and grow throughout his life. But I didn't care about his physical position at his job.

     When we got engaged, my family shared concerns about his position and his pay- how would he be able to take care of himself and also a wife with the job he had? Why hasn't he tried to do different things or grow in the business? None of those things concerned Elijah because he was trusting that the Lord would take care of us, like He always does. Elijah was concerned about my heart and our marriage, not necessarily the financial prospects. But my family's concerns started to get in my head. All those financial questions that had never been a concern before- they were starting now. I got scared for our future and how we would survive on our small incomes. So, I took it to the Lord and the Lord gave me peace about it. He gave me the same mindset that He gave to my then fiancé: be faithful with the little and I will bless you with more. I held fast to those promises. Money has never been a huge concern before, so we're not going to start that rabbit trail now.

     Fast forward to a few months into marriage- life is great. We're not making the most money and we're living with Elijah's parents because we still can't afford our own apartment, but we really don't care that much because we're married! We're living our best lives right now and we're doing it together. Life was so great. But then the great tragedy of 2020 struck: Covid-19. People were getting sick, businesses were closing, everything that was once normal is gone and we're figuring out a new reality that is, living through a global pandemic. And with that, came more bad news: Elijah was laid off. They couldn't afford to keep him on as an employee, especially when they were closing down in-restaurant seating and his primary job was to clean up the lobby where people ate and sat. He became very discouraged, and really started to freak out about how we were going to survive with only one income, and he can't support me because he doesn't have a job. All of those thoughts ran rampant in his mind- he was questioning his manhood because he didn't have a job and I still did. Why was this happening?? All while he was stressed, the Lord gave me peace that literally surpasses all understanding. Why would I be so calm in the midst of this type of chaos? We barely make any money between two paychecks, and how we only have one. Why was I so okay with this? It didn't make any sense to me. But I know that the Lord gave me those promises during our engagement period- money has never been a concern before so why should it be now? I spoke these truths over my husband every day that he stayed home, and I continued to go to work. In the midst of the pandemic, a lot of "normal" jobs were being dismissed or people were getting laid off from them because they couldn't function in a sick world like they used to. Restaurants, nail salons, movie theaters- all these jobs ceased to exist in a way because of Covid. But I was so thankful that I had a job that was still necessary: a nursing assistant in a hospital. My job was still vital, so I wasn't losing it anytime soon. So, when my husband didn't have a job, I had a job that paid our bills and extra hours that piled up because other people were getting sick and would call in and I would fill in for them. The Lord took care of us: of our finances and our marriage. I prayed only for my husband's heart through that hard time, and that he would not grow cold and angry at the fact that he no longer had a job.

     Thankfully, once the pandemic started to calm a bit, Elijah was rehired back at his job, and he got his old hours back and his old pay. Things started to go back to normal. But something shifted in him. He was now a married man who needed to take care of his wife. And while he was doing that before, he wanted to do it more now. So, when his bosses came up to him and asked if he wanted to grow in the industry and learn more positions, he said yes. He became a more vital employee in the restaurant because they needed people to make the sandwiches, not just sweep floors. With learning these new stations on the restaurant line, he got promotions in title and in pay. He became more than just a bus boy; he became a cook. Elijah was already respected by a lot of his co-workers because of how he held himself at work and how he treated the people around him. And if that doesn't speak to his character, I don't know what does. To be respected as a bus boy in a restaurant- wow. But he gained new respect because he was learning so many new positions and stations all at once. He was stretching himself in new ways. His bosses only ever had amazing things to say about him, and I completely agree. The little introverted high schooler that was happy with just cleaning tables, was now making sandwiches and talking to customers and doing things he probably never dreamed of doing at 16.

     But he still continued to do all of his work unto the Lord, just like when he was in high school. And while I was pretty excited about these new paychecks and the understanding that pay raises meant one step closer to being able to afford our own apartment, I kept praying for his heart. I prayed that all of this change at work would not make him bitter towards me at home. He could easily take out his work frustrations on me, blaming me since I was the main reason why he was pushing himself so much more. I kept praying that he would be able to understand the new recipes and procedures quickly, since that's something that's hard for him to do. I prayed that his bosses would give him grace, and that Elijah would give himself grace as well. I kept praying for his heart and his mind, not anything more.

     Ladies, if you learn anything from this blog post today, please hold fast to this: pray for your husbands. It is so vital as a wife to pray for your husband. You pray for him when he has a good day, you pray for him when he has a bad day. You pray for him when he's angry with you, you pray when he's pleased with you. A man only has a thousand worries on his mind at any given point, especially if he's a married man.
How much does this cost? How do I take care of this? I need to make sure my wife is okay. I need to make sure my children are okay. I need to take care of this bill before it's due. I need to pay this thing before it becomes a problem. Oh, I need to take the care for an oil change. My wife needed gas in her car. What if this is too big a burden? What if I can't handle this? But I have to handle it because I'm the man of the house.
     All of these are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things your husband needs to worry about. And he has to worry about you and your children, if you have any. The amazing thing is that a man doesn't have to take care of all these things, but he still holds himself responsible for it all and will take care of it because he feels the need to. Our husbands carry so much more burden than they need to, but they will gladly because they care for you as their spouse. It's our jobs as wives to be in constant pray for our husbands. While they are focusing on housework or bills or car troubles or insurance, we need to focus on their hearts and their minds. We need to be in constant spiritual battle for our men's hearts and minds. They need us to lift them up in prayer daily. Not just when we feel like it, but every single day. Pray for them. Pray that they would feel the Lord's presence in their everyday activities. Pray that the Lord gives them peace over the thing that has been bothering them. Pray that they continue to go to work and do everything unto the Lord, not unto themselves. Pray that they would love on their children a little harder. But women, we need to pray for our husbands. All. The. Time.

     I'm so happy to say that since Elijah and I got married, he went from a "lowly" bus boy to now, he's assistant manager. He's no longer making $8 something an hour- but he's on salary. And I don't boast about this to say, wow, look at me and my husband. I don't say this to boast about my prayer life, because that is not what this is about. My prayer life looks pathetic most of the time, if I'm perfectly honest. But the reason I talk about this is to boast on the Lord and how He is the one that has taken care of us.
     The Lord gave me my nursing assistant job back in 2019 because He knew, the pandemic was going to happen, and my husband would lose his job and I would need to support us. I hated my time as a nurse's assistant during Covid. It was rough work, but the Lord reminded me constantly that I was there for a reason. The Lord brought me a husband that had a humble job to show me that having a high paying job isn't all that. I don't need to have a husband that's a doctor, I need a husband that loves the Lord and loves me. The Lord taught me peace that surpasses understanding when my husband lost his job and I had to be the one that was telling him that it was okay. The Lord came to Elijah about pursuing a higher position at work because the Lord knew that he could do it and he pushed him as a man. The higher positions at work didn't just teach him new things on the job, but he could bring that home and apply it to his marriage as well. The Lord has taken us through so much in these few years of marriage, and I'm so thrilled to see where the Lord will take us in the future. But this is not a boast on me or my husband, this is a boast of the Lord.

So, pray for your spouse. Pray the heck out of them. It's worth it, I promise you.